Cider House Rules

Hero and Peaches, dripping wet, come inside. Peaches is 
standing next to the list of rules tacked to the kitchen 
support beam.

   PEACHES
 Look at that. Them same damn rules 
 is tacked up again!

Homer has finished putting his instruments away.

   MUDDY
 Why don't you put them damn rules in 
 the wood stove, Peaches?

As the men are murmuring their approval of this idea, Rose 
Rose interjects.

   ROSE ROSE
 I want to hear what they are, first.

The men groan, but Mr. Rose won't oppose his daughter on 
this subject--not this time. He just lies there.

   ROSE ROSE
 Homer, let me hear what they are.

Homer begins to read.

   HOMER
 "One: Please don't smoke in bed."

   MUDDY
 We heard that one already, Homer.

   HOMER
 "Two: Please don't go up to the roof 
 to eat your lunch."

   PEACHES
 That's the best place to eat lunch!

   HOMER
 "Three: Please--even if you are very 
 hot--do not go up to the roof to 
 sleep."

   HERO
 What do they think? They must think 
 we're crazy!

   MUDDY
 They think we're dumb niggers so we 
 need dumb rules--that's what they 
 think.

   HOMER
 This is the last one.

The men groan, in mock disappointment.

   HOMER
 "Four: There should be no going up 
 on the roof at night."

   PEACHES
 Why don't they just say, "Stay off 
 the roof!"?

   HERO
 Yeah, they don't want us up there 
 *at all*!

Homer crumples the list and throws it into the wood stove.

   ROSE ROSE
  (to Homer)
 That's *it*?

   HOMER
 That's it.

   ROSE ROSE
 It means nothin' at all! And all 
 this time I been *wonderin'* about 
 it!

   PEACHES
 They're *outrageous*, them rules!

   MR. ROSE
 Who *live* here in this cider house, 
 Peaches? Who grind them apples, who 
 press that cider, who clean up the 
 mess, and who just plain *live* 
 here... just breathin' in the vinegar?
  (he pauses)
 Somebody who *don't* live here made 
 them rules. Them rules ain't for 
 *us*. *We* the ones who make up them 
 rules. We makin' our *own* rules, 
 every day. Ain't that right, Homer?

   HOMER
 Right.